What a Year… (I don’t have to be afraid)

Moving around the house, working on laptop around the clock, it feels like we are finally advancing – yet not quickly enough. I wonder how many children are feeling the same at home, taking classes from their laptops. My son started school in August, after having been out for several months. He feels better, thank God! “It’s nice to see other kids”, yet, when I asked him – about how many are in class, he said “9” or so. It doesn’t matter. It’s better than being in a chair all day, staring at the live lesson or moving through e-books to find your resource. Pfffft. Education is not what it used to be, but the children will show us that we can overcome this pandemic, they are overcomers.

I was walking today, to relax and get my body moving. Sitting is a drag. Muscles aching. Been so busy that I started applying for schools at 1 am, prepping for application deadlines for next school year for my son. In the midst of the uncertainty if I can afford private or if he will get accepted to a magnet program. Wondering if work will get better. Praying for children who are at home learning, waiting to go back to physical school. I am reminded that God is in control. There is a song that I love and it always comes to my mind. As a singer, I can enjoy the lyrics of this piece by “Tenth Avenue North”, Song Title: “Afraid”.

Lyrics:

Afraid I don’t wanna be afraid I don’t wanna be afraid anymore When the world shakes Feel my heart race When the voices start again Or the panic’s creeping in Who will I listen to Fear never told the truth So I’ll wait on You tonight Worry’s only wasted time I don’t wanna be afraid I don’t wanna be afraid anymore Not like before I don’t wanna be afraid I don’t wanna be afraid anymore I’m safe in Your love, oh, Lord In the future You will return We’ll watch the darkness break And finally see Your face Soon we’ll forever be alive With Your kingdom, death will die This world cannot take my treasure This world doesn’t own my tears My hope is alive in Heaven I will not give in to despair I don’t wanna be afraid I don’t wanna be afraid anymore I don’t have to be afraid I don’t have to be afraid anymore Oh, Lord Don’t wanna be afraid Don’t wanna be afraid, no I don’t wanna be afraid anymore Don’t wanna be afraid I don’t wanna be afraid, no I don’t have to be afraid anymore (Mike Donehey, Jeff Owen) © 2016 No Alibis Publishing (adm. by Fun Attic Music, LLC) (SESAC) / LMNOPublishing (adm. by Fun Attic Music, LLC) (SESAC) Lyric video by Tenth Avenue North performing Afraid (Official Lyric Video). (C) 2016 Provident Label Group LLC, a division of Sony Music Entertainment.

World Cup 2010

It’s more than just soccer.

I am so glad that I am seeing a soccer final with teams that have never won before…. go both underdogs!

Netherlands and Spain.  Spain killed Germany today.  Germany killed Argentina, not long ago, but then again  – – – Argentina beat them a month ago before the cup began… so, now we wait 4 more years… to be in Brazil.

May the best team win… Naranja Mecanica o Espana!

Interview of the late Joe Carter, bka’s sorrow songs

Free from American Public Media interview: Spirituals History

The African American Spiritual with Joe Carter There is a better life, when we sing, we are transported to what is to come, it makes one strong, the eternal becomes part of the present… for right now… (when you sing)… everything is alright.

To sing or not to sing… that is the question!

When we surrender to life, we realize that our biggest dreams are what matter.  Infront of the main door of my parents house, my mom placed a ceramic sign that says “don’t let your memories be larger that your dreams”… I’ve been thinking about that this whole week.  No.  I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, since 2002 probably, when my first music production was made “Incomparable”.  I was so involved in it, I was alone, it was my project, and my lyrics. I did a learning style test this Sunday night (again after 7 years of having done one—thanks to advanogy.com)… and it came out the same “aural”, “visual”, and “solitary”… in that order of scoring.  And as I listen to “Dos Gardenias” as interpreted by the great Ibrahim Ferrer, in my itunes, I do juggle the difficult task of remembering what is was to sing.  To sing.  Not as much the singing infront of large audiences… but just to sing, because it meant something powerful, a transfer of emotions to my audience.  When I had the car accident, there was a time, that I didn’t want to sing… for so many reasons… and when I didn’t sing with my soul – my heart felt it too – I was constrainted.  Are you doing what your soul speaks? what does it long for? is it real? Give it all or give it nothing.  Otherwise, it will be meaningless.  No matter what the industry says is right or proper ~ go indie ~ get signed or not ~ SING!  “Canta mami, canta”  my son, reminds me… sing.  A true artist suffers, blooms, learns, creates, compels, satisfies the cry of one that can’t sing. 

Read, write, sing, snap, click, film, edit, paint – – – just do what you must. 

photos and single parenting

Photography is a way of expressing oneself to others… I enjoy photography.  Yesterday was my 3 year olds b-day and my friend came with her camera.  She took beau shots with her Canon Rebel (digital).  I have a 35mm Canon Rebel that I use… I love that camera… I will forever keep it and use it…

My friend shot some great pics of us at the Curious George themed b-day party.  I like people that have no fear of  being a true friend… because life takes hardwork, nothing comes easy…

The difficult path of being a single parent is full of angels to help along the way…

Smoothie Moments

What is it with me and those smoothie moments.  I mean, from Robek’s, Orange Julius (mall), to Jamba Juice.  It’s as if I crave that Strawberry & Banana smoothie… and throw in that free immunity booster or the joint one.  Delicioso!!! But, as opposed to my protein/gym buddy I have noticed that I am not a Smoothie King lover… there is something that doesn’t really click.  I love the frozen yogurt in those drinks, the fruit, and the boosters… just the flavor says it all… that is what gives it that “yummm” flavor.  My whole being is drinkiliciously satisfied.

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Z falling asleep…

I was thinking today to start this blog.  I have my 2 yr. old on my shoulder, wanting to sleep, but fighting it off.  Today, I went to get some things at BJ’s.  Life has a way of doing things.  I saw a guy I used to like… he was with his wife and kids – he was infront of me in the same register.  .  . he didn’t even notice me… I grabbed a slow cooking magazine to cover up… while I smiled at his little 3 year old or so daughter on the cart infront of me.  I was alone shopping.  Nothing.  I spoke to the young black cashier about it when they left… “I used to go out with that guy…”… “I liked him, but he was still thinking about his ex-engagee and I felt that he wasn’t into me” we went out for a year or so… I’m a single mom now –and– he has his wife and small kids (she was pregnant too)… I saw his wife checking out another guy twice in another register… the cashier said “you should’ve spoken to him”… ah.  “If I see him in the parking lot, I will”….. I paid… I walked to get my receipt punched… he was on my left buying a pretzel and a drink… I slowly walked… or atleast it felt that way – – – (made sure the wife wasn’t looking) – – and from the backside – “Hello Orlando…”  He had the biggest smile… the most precious smile… wrinkles around his eyes… with some gray hair… he looked good… “Hey” he said… “it’s good to see you” I said – “God Bless You” and I left… I could hear him say the same.